A Eulogy for Gil

Thank you friends and aquatic animals for joining me today as we mourn the passing of our dear and special friend, Gil. This loss reaches deep into the watering depths of all our hearts. The tears that we have shed will never fill the ocean-wide void that his passing has created. The waves of sorrow wash over us, and we are barely able to stay on our charted courses.

But Gil would not want us to drown in our sorrows; rather, he would want us to swim in a sea of gladness that his life meant so much to us. So please listen intently to my words, so we can remember and cherish his memory like buried treasure.


Gil was a unique soul, wet with creativity and integrity. He saw the world through an obtuse lens that he used to see the good qualities in us all. Gil never complained, never made a mess, and always listened. I could sit and talk to him for hours and he intently paid attention and never interrupted. If I told Gil a secret, I knew that he that would keep the secret locked away like a pearl in an oyster.

Gil was also fond of swimming lapse. He swam for hours and was able to keep his guppy-life figure. We will miss watching that little fellow swim for hours like he was actually going somewhere. So, to Gil, I honor you with a poem. May your legacy be as constant as the morning tides.

Oh Gil, we didn’t know you were ill.
Maybe we could have given you a pill.
You were my friend, and I miss you so
I crave to tap the glass of your little bowl
You lived in a castle in a basin of water
I should have kept the temperature hotter


You always blew bubble kisses to us all
And you caught the food flakes mid-fall
You swam around your tank all day
Your golden skin guiding your way
Your bulging eyes were full of love
You’re gone now to the big tank above
I was devastated, my heart was crushed
When down the toilet you had to be fl

As you all know, Gil was a leading figure in the effort to fight for goldfish rights. Allow me to report to you all what Gill was able to do during his short lifespan on earth. He fought for an age limit. No kids under the age of twelve could buy or be given a goldfish. He fought for more space. Because of him, the smallest fish tank must be at least twelve inches. He fought for double occupancy. Now over 50% of all goldfish are allowed a friend to share the lonely hours with.

He fought for cleaner maintenance. The days of gross green scum growing inside tanks is over. He fought for de-wild-in-i-zation. Goldfish that are found in the wild or now forced to live at least three months alone before being introduced to civilized goldfish. He fought for better food. Colorful, flavorful flakes have long since replaced the dreaded tasteless brown flakes. He fought for better air. Oxygen tubes are now mandatory in all fish tanks, no matter how small.

He fought for a better variety of home décor. Because of him, a goldfish does not have to live in a castle or a sunken pirate ship. And, finally, he fought for a better justice system. Now when a goldfish dies, an intense investigation follows to see if the untimely death was due to owner negligence. We solute you Gill. Not only were you a great friend, you were also a model citizen.

Note:

I came across this today and I remember giving this speech in my speech class. Everyone loved it...it was great. I have to send out a very special thank you to my sister, Alisa, and my husband, Michael, for helping me with it. It was GREAT!